If you knew what I did, you would... means that one person has more information than the other. The person with more information believes the other is making a mistake by acting on or making a judgment based on that lack of information, and is advising the person not to go through with that action or to alter their judgment.
Example:
#1) If you knew what I did, you wouldn't say that about her.
#2) If you knew what I did, you would start looking for a new job.
#3) If you knew what I did, you would hire a divorce lawyer.
You don't want to know. is usually a response to a question that is better unanswered. It is used to protect the questioner from negative information.
Example:
#1) What were you two arguing about? You don't want to know.
#2) Where have you been for the past two weeks? You don't want to know.
#3) Is David having some kind of problem? You don't want to know.
If only I knew... means you are lacking vital information that will probably significantly effect the future. It is often tied to emotion, and is often the response to a question.
Example:
#1) What are you going to do after the company shuts down? If only I knew.
#2) How does she really feel about you? If only I knew.
I wish I knew then what I know now. means that you made a mistake in the past based on a lack of information. If you had the information in the past, you believe you would have acted differently.
Example: I didn't study in school and I couldn't get a good job later. I wish I knew then what I know now.
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